It’s all been kicking off in soap land recently, so we’ve asked our soap expert, Katy Brent for all the lowdown from Soapville. I might have just turned my heating on, IN JUNE for crying out loud, but at least things are hotting up in the soaps. There are funerals, old faces, new faces, old new faces and new old faces in all of the Big Four this month. It looks set to be a sizzler! EastEnders Still reeling from Bobby confessing to Lucy’s murder AND from him taking on Big Jane with a hockey stick (brave lad), the Beales now have to wait to find out if the baby-faced assassin is going to be sent down for his crimes against Walford blondes. Can we take a moment to remember that the Bobster also tried to attack Phil Mitchell with a golf club last year, please? He’s clearly evil to the core. I suggest throwing away the key. Meanwhile it’s a sad, sad time for the Mitchell clan as they prepare themselves for Peggy’s funeral. Sob. Obviously, because this is Albert Square, things don’t go smoothly when Sam arrives. As we know by now, where there’s Sam, there’s trouble not far behind her. Here’s a reminder of what happened last time she popped back to Walford. If she gets through her mum’s funeral without starting either fight or an affair, I’ll be amazed. Oh, and just the small matter of Donna asking her BROTHER (fostered maybe) to father her baby. Coronation Street It’s clearly funeral season, as there’s one over in Weatherfield too. Only it’s good riddance, rather than goodbye as it’s callous Callum who’s finally being put in the ground. Well, technically back in the ground, but you know what I mean. This time it’s all proper. Poor dead Tony is the number one suspect for offing the local drug dealer and hiding his body. It all gets a bit much for Jason and he ends up leaving the cobbles for good. Nooooooo! The whole Callum-under-the-granny-flat business is taking its toll on Sarah too as the poor love starts suffering full-on psychotic meltdowns brought on by the stress. Covering up a murder will do that to you. With Carla gone (Nooooo. Still in denial) Nick and Leanne start gravitating towards each other again. And with their history, it’s only a matter of time before there’s some romance on the cards. I don’t approve. What Nick needs is to get himself on Tinder and meet SOMEONE NEW. Maybe even someone who doesn’t live on the same street. Just a thought. Here they are having a lovely affair back in 2010. Emmerdale Chas has got a real gift for picking the most rubbish men. There’s been Carl -who killed his own dad, Cameron – who killed loads of people and Gordon -who abused her son. And now she worries that she might be up the duff with Gordon’s baby. Try being single, Chas love. It’ll be less messy. Here’s how one of her relationships concluded. Clue – there’s a gun. Elsewhere, Emma’s lies are exposed as her family discover that she lied about developing symptoms of motor neurone disease. Worried that James is having an affair with Chas she ups the ante. Actually, James has been secretly planning to propose to Emma, but will he re-think that when he discovers she’s barmier than a bag of bat-poo? Hollyoaks In Chester, there’s ANOTHER FUNERAL. It’s Trevor’s and it quickly descends into chaos. Obviously. Ste has to battle temptation from Cameron. Is it just me or is Ste always battling temptation from somewhere? Elsewhere Mercedes and Joe face a life changing decision, but Mercedes isn’t sure if she can handle her new responsibilities. Given her history, I’m willing to bet a vital body part that she can’t. Let’s remind ourselves… Baby Girl Roscoe is finally given a name and Nancy tried to fix Maxine up with Dirk. Cindy will NOT be pleased. So that’s what’s coming up in Soapville over the next few weeks. Hopefully there won’t be nearly as much drama in your life.